Week 16 of 48 : I have sinned and it felt good.

This has been one of the most physically demanding weeks since going it alone as a contractor. I have lost track of day and night, I have crawled into places I never knew existed, I have asked more of my body on the job than I ever have and to top it off I have punished my body by eating quite a bit from the site canteen. It’s a world of horrors in there I tell you!

Monday – Rest day with no strength work. No problem at all with this one!. 14 hours on site

Tuesday – I was absolutely knackered. W/u 15m, 20m@9:30, 5m@9, 15m c/d. This became 6 miles. I was so tired I actually felt sick. 15 hours on site (but a really good day).

Wednesday – Easy 4. This became an easy 3 as I ran home from site at about 11pm. It was a bit scary though running through Shepherds Bush that time of night. My brain is so tired that at one point I had to remind myself it was not a speed session and was just a steady jog. 14 hours on site.

Thursday – Intervals. Sad to say I didn’t enjoy it. Was a massive struggle. 15m w/u, 5×0.5@9 w/3m, 15 c/d. I really struggled to hold the pace on the final set and it slipped over into 10mm pace. Not happy. Thursday was a split day on site and I ended up doing this session at 1am. 13 hours on site.

Friday – Rest day. Oh my fucking god. I needed this. I didn’t go in until noon as I was working through into the night shift and by the time I got home at 2.30am I was a zombie. 13 hours on site.

Saturday – I had made plans to do a night run on the South Downs with a few friends and sadly (for me) one by one they dropped out and it was only me left. So I didn’t see any sense driving 2 hours to go for a run when I could just go for a run closer to home. Except there was one lovely friend I had forgotten said she was going and bless her she showed up at the agreed meeting spot and there was nobody there. I am annoyed about this as I hate letting people down. I got quite down on myself and rather then just suck it up and still go run 20 miles I simply jogged 9 miles and then spent the rest of the evening watching shit movies and napping.

Sunday – 3 miles on tired legs were the instructions. No problem. Tired legs (body and mind) I can provide. Done.

So, that sin I was talking about in the title? I joined a gym.

Calm down, calm down … it’s only for the weekday sessions. The shifts and hours I am doing right now are not lending to a productive running schedule and to be honest even for a hardy London type I am smart enough to know when it’s not safe to run places alone. It matters not if there is an actual real danger to me it is more about my ‘sense’ of safety and I refuse to go anywhere if I simply ‘feel’ at risk. So I am going to learn all about treadmills and how to use them for intervals and I will be using the incline option religiously as I am well aware a flat on a treadmill does not equate to flat on the ground. Don’t judge me. All weekend sessions will be outside and I will get a grip of this tiredness. Although let’s face it the tiredness is bloody good prep for the 100 miler right? 69 hours on site … wtaf?

So why did I feel good about this sin? Well, before when I would go to gyms I would be so paranoid thinking others were looking at me, judging me, laughing at me … yeah, yeah, I know … they weren’t … my issue. However, even with my chubby self as it looks right now I simply didn’t care. I have a plan, a mission, a goal and I just didn’t give a shit. I only thought about it when I left and it made me smile, I mean really smile.

Oh and I will stay away from the site canteen this week as I can feel the weight piling back on which all adds to the ‘Sad Nici’ feeling.

Hope you all had a happy commercialised ‘I Love You’ day. Bitter? Me? Never 😉

Nici x

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2 responses

  1. Here I am again ( o : you have to do what’s right for you and if that’s running on a dread mill, then hat’s what you must do….I’m not brave enough to run around the streets of Croydon at night when I go home to my parents anymore – Bracknell is scary enough even with two Jack Russells leading the way at 4am before my early shifts…
    I’m trying to guess what you do – hopefully, you’re being rewarded well for those long hours – and I suspect your mate has forgiven you for standing her up because she didn’t really want to run in the dark along the South Downs either. Have a good week xx

  2. You have to look after yourself and stay safe Nici. Don’t be so hard on yourself, you are already superwoman, and cram more into a day then most people do in a week. We all think you are amazing – you rock xx

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