That title has just made me feel 14 again.
I still have a very clear memory of my first real kiss with a beautiful stunning girl. She set my life on it’s path and even though I took a few detours early on I landed right where I was meant to be. My clear lasting memory from that time is how terribly inadequate I felt. How excited I was at the very thought of her. How I couldn’t speak when she was around.
I feel that way all over again.
It’s been a funny old 10 months getting to this point. Lots of mistakes and life simply getting in the way.
As some of you know it all started really well. Remember the heady days where I got a marathon PB, where my training was exciting me, where I could taste my podium place at LL50 (ok … that bit was in a dream but who cares).
Well, all the momentum screeched to a sliding stop when I picked up a contract that while great for my CV it threw a massive fuck off spanner in the LL50 plan. Then on top of that my little heart fell in love, got deliciously distracted and then broken. So for about 5 months it was really hit and miss. The training was still happening but progress was not.
The saving grace for both my sanity and for my confidence that I can even finish has been the recce trips up to the Lakes. I feel like I know every blade of grass, every rock, every sheep on the route. The only part I haven’t done is the part around Dalemain estate but if I get lost there then I should probably get pulled from the race at the point.
I’m not going to rehash the recces but will say that when I get to Ambleside I am going to be like an excited puppy as there begins my favourite section albeit that it will be done in the dark so a bit slow.
I am going to have a tracker on for no other reason than I have had so many lovely folks ask if they can track me. I am telling myself it’s not because they want to witness some of my infamous extra miles while sat on their comfy sofas at home. No, that’s not it at all. I’ll post the link for the tracker on Facebook later at some point.
So, back to a weeks time. I’ll be sat at the Dalemain estate with my lovely friend Kat. She will be no doubt rolling her eyes at my nerves and I shall no doubt be so nervous I might be just a bit silent (it happens). The start is at 11.30am and I don’t anticipate finishing anytime before 6.30am on the Sunday. Yes, minimum of 17 hours for 50 Lake District miles … slow for some of you but realistic for me based on my recces. I am not going to be pressured into thinking of going faster as I will not be dropping anywhere except at Coniston.
The next week will consist of some easy little jogs and staring at my kit that is currently looking just as nervous as me.
I am under no illusions that this is going to be easy but I am quite clear that I have not felt about something so strongly in a long time. I hope I still think of this race in 28 years the way I still think of that moment at 14.